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Joke of the Day

"My niece said I look like a mom. So now we're playing a game, sorta like Hide-N-Seek, except I hide her and no one finds her. Ever."

"""You're what you eat"" So when will your mum become me?"

"How does a Buzzfeed writer catch fish? Clickbait."

"What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user? Meals on Wheels"

"Heard this while at a Canadian airport. Lady: We're going to the states for a few days. Oldman: I wouldn't do that if I were you. Lady: Why not? Oldman: It's full of Americans."

"Political views are like children. Some people don't have one or want one. Others keep trying to show theirs off."

"Just bought lean chicken breasts instead of hot wings for supper because I'm a stupid fucking mature adult."

"I like my cars how I like my women Asian and dirty."

"Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? They can't even"

"Why did Europe start the first World War? They did't like being sans-Ferdinand."