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Joke of the Day

"Chemist died in a fire outbreak. Polices had identified the cause, the chemist knew the water was not a solution,"

"Wanna know how I tell my sister is on her period? My Dad's dick tastes like blood."

"A couple I know only eat raw meat. Their names are Sam and Ella."

"Is Google a woman? I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the boy? Hey kid, you want to buy some candy?"

"What's a pirate's favorite Antivirus? Avast."

"(i walk up to the counter at subway) hey hows it goin? (i rest my foot on the sneeze guard thing and it slams shut on the guys hands) my bad"

"Tried explaining Twitter to my dad, but his ""why would you want to do that?"" argument was pretty bulletproof."

"Hellen Keller walks into a bar... She now has a bruise on her forehead..."

"Chances of me doing anything at work today are about hahahahahahahahahahaha%."