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Joke of the Day
"The hardest part of eating a vegetable... Is the wheelchair."
Next Joke
"Polishing my shoes I was walking downtown when I saw a black man carrying a tv set, and it looked just like mine. So I ran back home and to my relief mine was still there polishing my shoes."
"Pantyhose How many animals can you fit in a pantyhose? 10 little piggies 2 calves 1 ass 1 beaver A bunch of hares and.. 1 fish that no one can find."
"I just finished reading the fifth book in this great series. It's called the ""Learning to Count"" trilogy."
"You show me a migraine and I'll show you a real pain in the neck"
"What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating? ""Man, wall mounts are awesome."""
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, But i dont know how they would get inside of it!"
"There are two types of people: Those who extrapolate from incomplete data... ...and those who understand the importance of error bars."
"I can't face my checkbook so I check my Facebook."
"[Voice from police helicopter] PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! *raises hands* *takes flattering selfie in helicopter spotlight* *uploads new avi*"