31198

Joke of the Day

"Polishing my shoes I was walking downtown when I saw a black man carrying a tv set, and it looked just like mine. So I ran back home and to my relief mine was still there polishing my shoes."

"I ducked into a crowd of guys bro hugging as they left the bar, they didn't notice the stranger in their midst and I'm feeling so loved rn."

"Confucius say... He who farts at church, sits in his own pew."

"A Russian wife goes to police station. Russian Wife: My husband went to the market yesterday to bring potatoes. He has not returned home yet. Russian Inspector: Why don't you cook something else?"

"You know who's the greatest person ever? *the first word of this joke*"

"Nothing is certain but death and Adobe Flash Player updates."

"Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business."

"If you put a crown on a donkey, will he be king? No, he would be a donkey with a crown."

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I'm not sure what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day."

"My ex and I would role play from time to time. She would dress up as a teacher and call my mother to tell her that I ate the Crayons again."