31198

Joke of the Day

"Polishing my shoes I was walking downtown when I saw a black man carrying a tv set, and it looked just like mine. So I ran back home and to my relief mine was still there polishing my shoes."

"Filling out application for new health insurance. Do you guys think ""sick of everyone & everything"" is considered a pre-existing condition?"

"GOD: for this to work, I need them to feel love CUPID: how about I shoot them through the heart with an arrow? GOD: ur starting to worry me"

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean? I've never had a lima bean on my face."

"I once had an epileptic fit during my turn at a game of charades. Everyone just kept yelling, ""HOW MANY WORDS?"" and ""IS IT THE EXORCIST?""."

"If I lived in medieval times I'd get laid a lot because ""Would dost thou enjoy my penis shoved into thine lady parts? sounds fucking classy."

"Canada's Gas prices... They fell as fast as Greece's GDP."

"whats the difference between the duke of york and Katy price? the duke of York only had 10,000 men"

"what do you get if you mix a dachsund with a cocker spaniel/ poodle mix? A cockadockapoo."

"What do you call it when you drop an apple on the ground? A fruit by the foot"