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Joke of the Day

"You're like cheese I laugh when I cut you! Edit: First post on Reddit? Why not start with a cheesy joke?"

"Why did the circus animals go on strike? The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share."

"Dynamite fishing Sounds like a blast"

"Mom, I'm sleeping wit the neighbour -That's unacceptable young lady! He could be your Dad! -But Mom, you don't understand. Age doesn't matter for true love! -I didn't say anything about age ..."

"[God creating me] And then we sprinkle in just a touch of anxiety [the lid pops off and the whole jar spills in] [God shrugs] He'll be fine"

"It's not stalking if you don't put it in park."

"Happiness won't just walk into your life on its own. But neither will unhappiness. So if you don't want trouble in your life... then you'd best stay still and never move a muscle."

"Atheism just made less sense to me once I saw my neighbor Karen's tits."

"You can't out wit a jew but... You can auschwitz him"

"Why did the cyclops quit teaching? He had only one pupil."