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Joke of the Day
"Whats a rapists perfect date? Netflix and kill."
Next Joke
"May I have a quick word with you? Velocity"
"If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it probably can't pay its student loans."
"I saw a hot dog vendor today... She was good looking, but I don't really want a dog."
"What do you call saplings in the army? the infantry"
"What's the difference between Obama and Osama? O(b-s)ma^2"
"How come Hitler never went to the movies? Because he could nazi!"
"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They're stuck up bitches."
"So far my favorite part about being pregnant is telling people I'm not pregnant when they ask when I'm due."
"[at my funeral] ventriloquist: please don't judge me, he paid me a lot of money to do this me: hi everybody!"