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Joke of the Day

"[drops son off for 1st day at daycare] ""Ok, Mr Hughes, see you at 3 o'clock."" ""Not a chance. He's your problem now."""

"What do you get when you cross a rhino with an elephant? Hell-if-i-know (my grandma's favorite joke)"

"I'm suing samsung. I bought a Fucking Note 7 for my wife and it stil didn't explode."

"She told me to give her nine inches and to make it hurt... So i fucked her three times and punched her in the gut."

"The Puzzle - I beat a record. - Oh , what? - I managed to do a puzzle in 15 days on which he had written "" from 3 to 5 years."""

"Why isn't /u/JokeExplainBot here anymore? There aren't jokes here. There are reposts here."

"Did you hear what ubisoft rated assassins creed black flag? They rated it ARrrrrrrr 16."

"To commemorate the disaster in Mecca where a crane fell and crushed pilgrims, Saudi Arabia will build a restaurant at the site. An IHOP: International House of Pancakes."

"I just murdered a tree and put its decorated corpse on display in my living room. For Jesus."

"Women order the fuck out of coffee. ""Give me a chocolate mocha latte with 3 sugars, 2 Splendas, 4 elf pubes and 2 grams of pixie dust."""