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Joke of the Day

"I just woke up from a 13month coma Just in time to see my wife give birth"

"Have you ever seen one of those billboards that just says ""AVAILABLE"" and a phone number? That's your mom's number."

"TIL that Harriet Tubman sought a monthly pension of $25 a month for services in the civil war ,but was only awarded $20. 100+ years later we're still only giving her a $20."

"I got 99 problems and being attractive could solve at least 30 of them."

"Today is the best day to propose to your girl... If she accept, its your luck! If not, tell her its April fools!"

"Why shouldn't you date a tennis player? Love means nothing to them."

"What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur? Sir Lunchalot."

"*Semi drifts into my driveway, transforms into a robot and hands me my package.* This Amazon Optimus Prime account was so worth it."

"Why did the cultists drink the Kool-Aid? To get to the other side."

"A friend of mine asked if you could catch AIDS from a toilet seat. I said, only if you sit down before the other guy gets up."