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Joke of the Day

"It's not a matter of WHEN the world will end... ...it's WHICH Applebee's you find out at."

"Whats the difference between a zippo and a hippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"My wife used to have sex with fruit when she was stressed. When I found out, she went fucking bananas."

"When is booger not a booger? When it('s not)."

"Yesterday I saw a horse-drawn carriage The proportions were a bit off but the shading and linework were quite remarkable."

"Sharon: I'm so homesick. Sheila: But this is your home! Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it."

"I don't need WebMD to tell me what's wrong with me, I have my mother."

"How many economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. They just keep going on and on about how the last one broke."

"Being an assassin would be so cool People would kill to have that job"

"Fool me once... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thirty five thousand six hundred times, shame on the weatherman."