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Joke of the Day

"There's one thing I've learned after my son got hit in the face with dog excrement. I'm rather good at golf."

"Your mama's so fat She needs to use [Terashare](http://terashare.net)"

"Rome wasn't built in a day. But part of it was."

"Burger King: Have a chicken fry again! But Sensei, I thought they could arways fry"

"What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand? Kermit's undivided"

"My cowboy friends phone froze on gindr the other day He kept asking ""Why can't I quit you"""

"Accidentally pronounced wifi as ""wifey"" and the hotel concierge said the password's helping out around the house and being a good listener."

"[dropping kids off at school] ME: Ok, learn a lot today KIDS: But school doesn't start for another week ME: *speeding off* GOOD LUCK"

"I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone."

"What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend? Homeless."