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Joke of the Day

"Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret"

"There's been a surge in public sex lately. These people are fucking everywhere."

"If you've never had diarrhea from drinking Jack Daniels... then you don't know Jack shits."

"Did you hear about the Spaniard who was obsessed with Greek Mythology? I said to him, ""Jesus?"" and he replied, ""Where's Zeus?"""

"Nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket..., Thinks to herself. ""Well, some asshole's got my pen."" Another you say? What's the difference between rectal and oral thermometers. Taste."

"France beat the Germans 2-0 but the terrorists have them at like 50-3"

"How to make Holy Water.. You boil the hell out of it."

"FOX is adapting a mash-up of Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire and Are you smarter than a 5th grader for Bangladesh. They're calling it, Who Wants to Marry a 5th Grader"

"Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank.... I have no words right now to describe how angry I am."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they are both stuck up cunts."