147107

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Spaniard who was obsessed with Greek Mythology? I said to him, ""Jesus?"" and he replied, ""Where's Zeus?"""

"What's loud and sounds like ""apples""? *APPLES!!!*"

"If someone is a vegan, does crossfit, and has a rescue dog.... which one do they tell you about first?"

"Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast? Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some? Son: NO. I hate casserole. Me (whispers): I know..."

"My Indian friend taught me an authentic Punjabi dance. I've got some real Sikh moves."

"What do you call a happy penguin? A pengrin!"

"Dopted Dad: Have you seen an animal named Dopted? Son: What's a Dopted? Dad: You are. You're adopted."

"I always have too much month left at the end of my money."

"Pretty cool how money could literally solve all my problems."

"At my funeral, I want a homie to adjust my junk one last time. I'm not gonna rest peacefully if my balls are pinched between my legs."