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Joke of the Day

"My son fell asleep on a lego. He is in critical condition and will be getting surgery this morning. He is currently on morphine and has had several seizures."

"Why did Microsoft skip to Windows 10? Because 7 8 9. (For those that haven't heard the news: http://www.polygon.com/2014/9/30/6873967/windows-10-announced-microsoft-pc)"

"It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers."

"I wonder if my first cat appreciates being at least slightly immortalized in my passwords."

"85% of Canadian moms need you to fix their computer this afternoon"

"Johnny wants to go bathroom Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!"

"Read this in an email by the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) - science joke ""This newsletter is printed from 100% recycled electrons."""

"A restaurant patron complained about the limited dessert selection, and an Irish man turned his head to respond. What was the complaint? **Flan AGAIN?!**"

"Why are Jews and the Amish so similar? Neither like cooking with gas."

"Ever tried anal sex? Its fucking shit."