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Joke of the Day

"Today I officially hit the ""I guess these shrank in the dryer"" phase of my weight gain denial."

"I've never liked barnacles, but since I moved to the harbour they've started to grow on me."

"Q: How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark."

"What did the Jewish man do when he got a dog? Posted fliers around the neighborhood that said ""Not Lost Yet""."

"I want to work for YouTube. It sounds so easy! All you have to do is remove a few lines of code everyday!"

"Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE? Neighbour: Get out of my house! Me: You're not even guessing."

"The story of the upvote DAT SHAT be unin a gut tiiime we needsa usa deaa oopvote us a doonvote n all da boom world bee hap hap@#! Der viginia is a centurfuge of paap!@#$%^&*()_+"

"Who says Republicans aren't into recycling? Mitt Romney's thinking of running for President, again."

"There are only 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"So, a rapist, a sadist, and a pothead walk into a bar and order a beer... The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive backfield here."""