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Joke of the Day

"As President Roosevelt said: ""We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."""

"*walks out of prison, a free man. *guards shouting from gate ""From! At! For! With!"" What? ""Oh, we always end sentences with a preposition"""

"What gives a ghost the right to haunt people? A haunting license"

"A man is having trouble in bed, so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him he's going to need to stop masturbating. ""Why?"" the man asks. ""So I can examine you"", the doctor replies."

"A customer walks in to a chemist's. ""I would like some deodorant please"" The chemist replies ""Ball, or aerosol?"""

"What's the shittiest day of the week? Saturday"

"Sometimes I wake up moody... The other times, i let her sleep."

"Q: What do you call Italian women in a sauna? A: Gorillas In The Mist!"

"What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her? You're getting too wrapped up in your work!"

"Dear Satan, God never healed my dyslexia so I'm looking for new religion. Please send some pamphlets. And tell Rudolph hey. Love, Me"