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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my wine 12 years old and locked in the basement Edit:I like most things without dicks aswell"

"What does a Mermaid bring to math class? An algae-bra."

"police codes 472: loitering 213: man with horse eyes 304: gnarly dirtbike 94: breaking & entering 834: dog smoking weed 58: sexy loitering"

"I used to be a banker But I lost *interest*"

"So sad America ranks 25th in the world in math. But at least we're still in the top 10."

"Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations."

"If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at."

"Job interview with the NSA Applicant: Would you like references? NSA: We have everything we need. App: You guys! NSA: I know, right!"

"What do you call it when an employee poops in the food at a Chinese restaurant? Shitty wok"

"God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me."