36050

Joke of the Day

"""You like mayonnaise? Prove it."" - Costco"

"I would say I'm pretty Indecisive... Well actually maybe not"

"Met a cute guy at the gym we like all the same movies and he loved my shoes. We have a movie date tonight and he's bringing his boyfriend."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seat belt"

"My dad told me ""Son if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind"" I told him ""Dad I'm over here"""

"Sorry I borrowed your pen and performed that emergency tracheotomy that turned out not to be an emergency. And sorry about your neck hole."

"you are so beautiful without makeup. -my husband, after he saw i spent $62 on an eyeshadow."

"Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise? A. Turn right and go straight."

"How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram"

"What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth hurty."