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Joke of the Day

"As you take another breath, someone takes their last. Stop complaining; appreciate life."

"Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like ""we need to talk."""

"Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, ""I forgot to feed the dogs,"" and leaves."

"Why did the chicken end up in the soup ? Because it ran out of cluck !"

"Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow? Because chocolate doesn't make a peep."

"Guy finds secret trick into heaven... Gods hate him"

"Interview Employer: ""This is an important job, we need someone who is responsible."" Applicant: ""I'm the one you want! At my last job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible."""

"Whats Orange and bad for your teeth? ... a brick"

"What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink? A slipped disk."

"The first messenger to say ""Don't kill the messenger"" definitely got killed in the face."