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Joke of the Day

"I'm having one of those days where nothing seems to be going write."

"Clerk Kent is in fact Superman... So my mom tells me stop hanging with your friends who are always drunk! They are not a good company! How should i tell her that... ""Clark Kent is in fact Superman"""

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the shit out of the seeing eye dog."

"I still can't get over the news about the marathon.. Even though it happened more than 20 years ago, I'll never get used to calling it Snickers."

"If you choose to always make it all about you, that's precisely who you'll end up with."

"Why did helium get into a fight with neon? They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try."

"What is similar between students with mental health issues and nurses giving vaccinations? They both tend to shoot up schools."

"*runs into the back of wife's leg with the grocery cart for the 5th time* me: We meet agai- wife: Go wait in the car me: Ok"

"Why aren't there any mexicans in star trek? They don't work in the future either."

"Chuck Norris has a roundhouse-kick app for his iPhone 8.0"