3585

Joke of the Day

"""Son, you can practice the sex on holes in trees"" ""DAD?!"" [next day] ""Where you going with that broom handle?"" ""Checkin for squirrels"""

"Interesting how u totally lose track of ur age after 21. Nothing to look forward to until 31, when u can legally own a donkey in a bathtub."

"What happens when almonds die? Diamond"

"breakfast in bed? babe I thought you said brofest in bed. *gestures at chad and brad to leave* *whispers* we can still play frisbee later."

"My favorite X-Men character is Nicki Minaj."

"What's the difference between a circus and a whore house? One has a cunning array of stunts."

"Back seat drivers are all the same.. ""Why we going into the woods?"" ""Let me out"""

"Dyslexic florists say ""Weddings are for pansies."""

"A group of protesters are in front of a physics lab ""What do we want?"" ""Time travel!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Irrelevant."""

"What goes ""Tick Tock, woof woof""? A watchdog."