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Joke of the Day

"A group of protesters are in front of a physics lab ""What do we want?"" ""Time travel!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Irrelevant."""

"I like my women like I like my computer monitors Bright, saturated and in multiples."

"Where did Donald Trump go for dinner last night? Rubio Tuesdays"

"Is it sad that the plans I make after work depend on how much charge I have left in my phone battery?"

"To err is human To arrrgh is pirate"

"Breaking up on Twitter: It's not @you it's @me."

"I would like to tell you about how I beat the Elite Four's Pokemon using only Luvdisc... But just a disclaimer, that battle is not for the faint of heart."

"Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body."

"Why are cops so bad at pool? Because they can't resist hitting the black ball."

"A man wakes up in a hospital, after a serious accident. He yells ""Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor responds ""I know. I amputated your arms."""