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Joke of the Day

"Eight. It took me eight tries to get the USB drive in the right hole. This leads me to believe that if I was a guy the sex would be horrible"

"Does AT&T; allow phone calls on their network? Anyone know?"

"Hear about psych on netflix? Thats messed up"

"Ya know what's a real pain in my ass? Anal fissures."

"How many animals are in a pair of pantyhose? Well there is 10 little piggies, 2 calves, an ass, a pussy and a dead fish, no one can find."

"When I said that you'd always have a place to stay in rough times, I meant like a motel or a shelter. Anyway ... You can't stay here."

"The Whale was uneasy. ""I'm afraid Jonah is not satisfied with his accommodations"" said the whale. ""What gave you that idea?"" queried the octopus. ""Oh, I have inside information"" said the whale."

"What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo? An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal."

"Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers? Because they only use half pipes."

"Why was 9 afraid of 7? Because 6, 7 8."