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Joke of the Day

"Does AT&T; allow phone calls on their network? Anyone know?"

"Have you ever tried to eat your own watch? Well it's very time consuming."

"Quick tax question: Does giving thousands of dollars to charity last year make up for lying about it this year?"

"Have you heard about the sequel to the Exorcist ? In the new version, a woman hires the Devil to get a priest out of her son."

"[Obamacare Meeting] *Biden raises hand* *Obama sighs* Yes Joe? Will the doctor still have lollipops? Sure. *Entire Congress sighs w/ relief*"

"What's the worst part about working in a glory hole? You only get paid in tips."

"God and Lazarus God said to Lazarus, ""Come forth, and receive eternal life!"" However, Lazarus came fifth and received a toaster."

"[Interviewing to be a mortician] Do you have any experience handling dead bodies? -Well I get my sleepy kids ready for school every day."

"How many Nazis does it take to screw in 6 million lightbulbs? One. The rest were just following orders."

"Hello Alcoholics Anonymous? I'd like to anonymously report a bunch of alcoholics getting together in my neighbor's yard. ""Sorry sir, that's not the point of the program"""