35749

Joke of the Day

"Why do you have to separate red shirts when you put them into the laundry? Because red shirts die easily."

"Why didn't Rick Grimes settle his group in an abandoned senior center? Too many walkers."

"I was a bit skeptical when someone told me there were three holes in the ground. Well well well"

"it's impossible to own two weiner dogs because that's a paradachshund"

"Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. The plane's going down. Look, stop screaming, that's not going to make me a better pilot"

"Why'd the toilet feel abused? Because it took a lot of shit."

"Donald Trump's dream is within his grasp He's about to get fucked by every woman in America"

"Who does a hypocrite really hate? A hypocrite!"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It doesn't matter because they can't change anything."

"Keanu Reeves watching a Keanu Reeves movie trying to figure out how he's in two places at once."