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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It doesn't matter because they can't change anything."

"To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car."

"""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" In 2020."

"Men are like old car tires. Balding full of hot air and it never hurts to have a spare."

"What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common? The amount of lead put into black people. (It was funnier over the radio)"

"While having an all-out war with underwater warships, I accidentally hit one of my teammates. Oops wrong sub."

"Probably the worst & the best thing about having King Kong go crazy in your town would be the huge, monster genitalia."

"I saved a ton of money by eating all my groceries before getting to the register."

"""Do you know what the hardest part of the night is?"" asked the taxi driver. ""Is it his shield?"" I asked."

"If there were no bad parents there would be no good strip clubs."