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Joke of the Day

"MARATHON RUNNER: [breaks through ribbon at finish line] GUY WHO LOVES MARATHONS: Hooray GUY WHO LOVES RIBBONS: What the shit"

"Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a SIX offender!!!"

"What do my boyfriend and the internet have in common [NSFW] They both go down during sexy times"

"Why did Moses see a burning bush as God? Because God planned on giving him his first tablets then. The mistake? They were Samsung Galaxy Note tablets."

"Guys, I'm officially having sex tonight so please don't disturb me between 9.30 and 9.31"

"I Remember The Last Thing My Grandpa Said to me Before he kicked the Bucket He said ""Hey, how Far Do you think i can kick this bucket?"""

"No autocorrect, I do not want to organism all over his face."

"When I want to trim down my friend's list on FB I give my opinion and let nature do the rest."

"What do you call a crime-solving blender. Deducer"

"I don't hate you. Hate is such a strong word. I just want to tickle your brain with this ice pick."