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Joke of the Day
"What do beef hearts smell like? Honey."
Next Joke
"Ikea said if they catch me stealing any more kitchen utensils I'll be banned for life. But I'm willing to take the whisk."
"""It's not you, it's me. "" - twins looking at family photos"
"I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad."
"Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: please stop calling me that. My name is Susan"
"I tried to make the earthquake drill realistic by throwing glass shards and screaming ""You fuckers are dead."" I'm no longer safety captain."
"What is long and hard and has cum inside of it? A Cucumber"
"So an Irishman walks out of a bar...."
"A skeleton goes to the bar and says ""Can I have a pint and a mop..."""
"What the difference between a calender and you.... a calendar has dates."