176779

Joke of the Day

"When I saw ""likes music"" on her dating profile, I almost fell out of my chair. Because I also like music. Holy shit she likes good food too!"

"I'd make a wind pun But it blows.."

"A person is drowning and yelling ""HELP I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM"" A bystander tells him to shut up because he doesn't know how to swim either but he's not freaking out about it like the guy drowning."

"Yo moma is so... good looking, what happened you? edit: premature ejokulation"

"What did the stoner drop when he listened to dubstep? Salt."

"I tried turning my AC off today but couldn't.... Turns out it's hard to stop a Trane."

"A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"A new source of electricity is found! Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now. We can use that somehow."

"I know my mum has a dildo because I hear her drawer slam shut every night before she switches off her light in the next room... ...I wish this was a joke."

"Why did the stoneworker get fired? Because he took his job for granite I'll show myself out."