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Joke of the Day
"How is a woman like an Electrical Fuse? When they blow, you got no power!!"
Next Joke
"What's the wrong way to feed the cat? to the dog."
"A guy goes to a five dollar lady of the night.. and he gets crabs. So, the next day he goes back to complain. And the woman says ""Hey. It was only five dollars. What did you expect? Lobster?"""
"I bring my Epipen everywhere It's my greatest treasure. I think my friend really wanted me to have it. He gave it to me right before he died."
"Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap."
"If you ever catch me staring blankly during our conversation it's because I can't remember if it's my turn to say words or yours."
"If breaking a mirror brings 7 years of bad luck, does breaking a lightbulb bring 7 years of bad ideas?"
"God finally answer my prayers for winning the $15 million lottery. The answer is no."
"[Going through customs] Anything to declare, sir? 1...2... Sir, what are you 3...4...I declare a thumb war! Oh bring it on *misses flight*"
"What Do You Call an Ethiopian with A Piece of Lettuce on His Head? A Quarter Pounder."