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Joke of the Day

"What's the wrong way to feed the cat? to the dog."

"What happened when the host of Dirty Jobs said hello to a friend that was fairly far away? Microwave."

"A wife is like a hand grenade... ...take off the ring, and you lose the house."

"I went to a zoo the other day and all they had there was a dog in a cage... it was a shih tzu"

"Did you hear Daft Punk is partnering with NASA to solicit bids from contractors? They're up all night to get Lockheed."

"Mad cow disease wears off and eventually you're just tired with a cow disease."

"LG is like XDA... ... they release a phone and they go like ""Any problems? You tell me""."

"*eats a bag of chips* *eats 2 baked potatoes* *eats a plate of fries* *eats a plate of mashed potatoes* Being a vegetarian is easy!"

"INTERVIEWER: do u have any weaknesses VIDEO GAME BOSS: [strugling to cover glowing weak spots all over body] UM"

"I undo his overall strap & slide it off a barely perceptible shoulder. I pull his steel work goggle down around his ""neck"" ""BanaNA"" he moans"