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Joke of the Day

"I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number."

"What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant? A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes."

"What did one tile say when the other tile offered it a glass of port? No thanks, it's bad for my grout."

"What's Donald Trump's favorite drink? A White Russian. I'm so sorry."

"Who doesn't like a hot date? A necrophiliac."

"""How can it be global warming,"" pondered @realDonaldTrump, ""if it's cold outside? Cold is the opposite of warm. Science is hard."""

"I tried to send an e-mail and broke my computer. How do you manage that? I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox."

"A man was walking in a graveyard when he spots another man crouching behind a tombstone ""Morning!"" he said The Other man replied:""No just taking a shit"""

"I lost my college football scholarship in the very first game this weekend, for pulling a groin. Not mine, someone else's."

"A driver was so focused on being upset I was texting while driving... They rear ended the car ahead of them. I guess texting while driving is distracting."