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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Mexican hooker who doesn't charge any money? Fritatas"
Next Joke
"What the hell Hollywood? I've never had to rub blood between my fingers to know that it's blood."
"When people tell me I'm a nerd for being good at math... ...I simply tell them that I'll add a knife to my hand, divide all their blood vessels, and subtract them from this world."
"Knock knock Who's there A gorgon. A gorgon who? 420 gaze it. Geddit. Because then you'd be stoned? Okay, sorry I'll leave."
"What did the uncircumcised man say during confession? Forgive me father fore I have skinned"
"What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol? Xanax since he's a Bartender"
"""Remember,"" said my boss, ""It takes 20 years to build a reputation..."" ""...And only a few seconds to say I had sex with your daughter."""
"What's the best way to become a Russian leader? Stop Stalin! Just Putin the effort and start Lenin it happen!"
"April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."
"Is it ""lying in a puddle of blood"" or ""laying in a puddle of blood?"" Lol who knows, but yeah seriously, send an ambulance right away."