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Joke of the Day

"Whenever my husband opens his wardrobe he shouts and curses. I think he's a cross dresser."

"My superpower is making people laugh. Which would be great if I was trying to be funny."

"My Garden Statue Called In Sick Today He has Gnome-onia."

"A police officer pulls over a speeding car.. The cop said to the driver, ""Ha! I've been waiting for someone like you all day!"". The driver replied, ""Well, I got here as fast as I could!"""

"I had sex with a girl and she kept shouting another guys name Who the fuck is rape?"

"I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20."

"What's a gay-bar pickup line? Can I push your stool in?"

"Hi, I'm hosting a party with dinner & drinks on Friday 14th Feb for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't cum let me know."

"My welcome mat says, ""Oh shit! Not you again!"""

"For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back."