35258

Joke of the Day

"Did you here about the girl who got electrocuted by her vibrator at a sleep over? It was such a buzz kill"

"I'm opening up a Battered Shrimp Shelter in my stomach."

"Why don't television shows say, ""You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?"""

"Whoever you are, you can't deny that Harry Potter & the Fallopian Tubes sounds like a legitimate title. Don't act like you wouldn't read it."

"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash, the other is delicious."

"What do you get when you squeeze a synagogue? Jews."

"I'd like my obituary headline to read: ""Local Man's Struggle With Upstairs Wireless Printer Is Over."""

"Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing."

"How does Mulan's boyfriend explain himself when she caught him smoking pot? Shanghai"

"What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists? Baryon my wayward son!"