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Joke of the Day

"Why don't television shows say, ""You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?"""

"What kind of country do we live in when an artist like Sia won't take advantage of the freedom to change her last name to Lateralligator?"

"Gerard Butler: Can I get sugar? Waiter: This is sugar. *GB stands pissed* GB: THIS..IS...SPLENDA!! *GB kicks waiter through glass panel*"

"A Redditor has sex for the first time"

"There are going to be a lot of drunk mosquitos tonight."

"You know, I really didn't need to scratch my balls today at all. Not once - said no man EVER"

"[soldier making lunch] Now for some avocado [grabs grenade] oh oh, if this is here then that means [cut to soldier taking cover for 5 hours]"

"*Shrek pre-production meeting* Producer: Do we have a name for the dragon yet Guy who named the donkey ""Donkey"": I was thinking Dragon sir"

"My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games, What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4.!"

"What do you call a Sandwich with legs? Bready Legs"