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Joke of the Day

"A chinese man goes to the eye doctor... The doctor says ""You have cataract. "" and the chinese guy says ""No, I have a rinkin continental."""

"*crawls seductively across bed* *elbow gives out*"

"What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic? Wait for him to give it back."

"A boy wrote Santa: ""please send me a sister"". Santa wrote back: ""Alright, send me your mother""."

"""Are you there, God? It's me, well, you've probably never heard of me cuz I'm like really underground & shit."" -- Hipster prayer"

"The oldest joke I know A girl with no arms or legs was sad on the beach. A man walked up and asked what was wrong. She said she'd never been fucked. He threw her in the water and said, ""Now ur fucked"""

"Boss: Where'd you go?? Me: I got all the way up front and realized I forgot my pen. Boss: Okay? Me: So I went to lunch."

"Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way."

"""Buttocks! Sexy sexy buttocks! Introduce me to your buttocks! My name is Tony!"" - from my new song, ""Dusk in Vienna"""

"What's the difference between a blimp and a blow job every day? One's a Goodyear, the other's a fucking awesome year!"