45349

Joke of the Day

"During the security announcement on the plane, they asked us to ""place all loose objects in the overhead compartment"" So I picked up my friend and put her in the overhead compartment."

"You can stop advertising pizza and beer during football. People who watch football know about them."

"What do you do if an Elephant breaks his big toe? Call a big toe truck."

"My friend says I play with my parrot to much. So I gave him the bird."

"I had a friend who claimed he didn't see race... I didn't believe him until the 5K incident"

"Did you hear about the car with wooden wheels, a wooden engine, and wooden doors? It wooden start"

"What do you call a girl that you meet on Reddit? You don't."

"My thoughts and prayers go out to all those with super busy key chains today. With dolls and shit on them, and fistfuls of keys and whatnot."

"How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb? Liberals: Changing the bulb is too extreme. Let's fix the current one in the dark."

"How do dogs like their eggs cooked? Pooched."