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Joke of the Day

"So I asked my uncle how he felt about the Ducks this season He replies ""I finally know what it feels like to be a Beaver fan."""

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"I call my girlfriend Dumbledore Because she's the real headmaster"
"What's the difference between Caitlyn Jenner and a 6 year old pretending to be a T-Rex? The 6 year old never killed anyone with a car"
"What type of classical music do chickens like best? Bach."
"The weatherman keeps saying we are getting a pounding. *Followed*"
"Once you've seen an Elephant attacked by a lion... You've seen a maul."
"Harassment Teacher: Frame a sentence using the word 'Harassment'. . . . Johnny: I was in love with a girl and Her Ass Meant a lot to me......."
"What is the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says, ""Spit out your gum"" and a train says, ""Choo, Choo, Choo."""
"Decided to take all my old watches and join them together to make a new belt... turned out to be a waist of time."
"Yeah, I lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing."