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Joke of the Day

"So a limbo champion walks into a bar.. he was disqualified from the limbo competition."

"I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in."

"I wanted to buy some literature on DIY shelving Sounds easy, but try going into a book store and asking if they have ""any books on shelves"""

"My friend came up to me He said, ""Can you ever remember a time where you removed a wig?"" I said, ""Not off the top of my head."""

"My wife wanted me to go shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn't have sex."

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you've already screwed it up."

"How can you tell if a woman's picture is photoshopped? She isn't standing in the kitchen"

"Somebody stole my mood ring today. I don't know how I feel about that."

"Damn girl, are you a haunted house? Because I'm scared to come inside you."

"There's no such thing as a stupid opinion Said the world's first feminist"