143088

Joke of the Day

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you've already screwed it up."

"When I quit my job I'm going to barge into my boss's office, slam my gun and badge on his desk, and storm out of this Arby's forever."

"Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it's ok to bite an opponent."

"""Sir, do you have any dietary restrictions?"" *unbuttons pants* ""Not anymore!"""

"What did the waiter ask the group of Jewish mothers? Is *anything* okay?!"

"Wife: Did you do the dishes like I asked? Me: Sorry I was busy W: Doing what? *cat rides by on Roomba wearing gladiator outfit* Me: Uh.."

"Why did the basement want to be a high rise? It was a motivated cellar. :|"

"I take my women the same way i take my presidents. Half black and no Bush."

"What do Jews in Nazi Germany and children at Penn State have in common? They're both afraid of showers"

"After a failed college project to fight hunger, Clark decided to focus on fighting crime and thereby dropping a p from Supperman."