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Joke of the Day
"What is the worst thing about getting hit in the face with PI? It never ends."
Next Joke
"If you think colours aren't funny then you lack a sense of hue-mour"
"Ziiipppp, zip, zip, zip, ziiiipppp! *Me, dramatically ending a marital spat during a camping trip"
"WHATS A HIPPY?? THE THINGY WHERE YOUR LEGGIES HANG FROM"
"What do male lawyers call a female barrister? A barista. Because she's only useful for getting coffee."
"My girlfriend and I went to the Renaissance fair and saw a minstrel get cut in the arm He's gonna be okay though, my girlfriend had just the thing to stop the flow of minstrel blood"
"ME: I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song?"
"What's pink and wrinkled and hangs out your undies? Your grandma."
"Every morning I wake up and every morning there is no breakfast in bed. We have got to do something about this level of poverty!"
"""Have you tried putting balogna in it?"" ~me, as a marriage counselor"