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Joke of the Day

"Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? (Lionel Richie, speed dating)"

"What's the difference between David Lee Roth and Snoop Lion? David Lee Roth was in Van Halen Snoop Lion was in a van in halen"

"I asked the guy from 127 Hours for help with my homework. He said, ""I would give you a hand, but I'm stumped."" I'll show myself out."

"What should we call Trump's newest scandal? Golden Gate."

"Cop 1: You think Simon will escape? Cop 2: Nah, he's locked up in there good. Simon: Simon Says free me. Cop 1: Dang it, he got us."

"I just watched a knot making documentary, it was really good! Especially that ending, what a twist."

"Why isn't Hitler invited to any barbecues? Because he always burns the franks."

"Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer."

"Did you guys hear that Ellen Degeneres died? Yeah, they found her face down in Ricki Lake."

"""911, what's your emergency?"" ""Hi. Long time listener, first time caller."" ""That's really funny."" ""Thank you. Anyways, I'm being stabbed."""