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Joke of the Day

"Does killing time damage eternity?"

"Show me on this Russian nesting doll where the bad man hid many more, smaller versions of you"

"I wonder who is being John Malkovich right now."

"I was casually playing while my teammate wrote ""I fucked your mom last night"" I replied ""no you didn't"" Then my dad ran into my room and told me that he indeed did."

"How many SRSers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They wait for the electrician to make a mistake and yell at them for doing it wrong."

"I want a woman for our president. Like the one we got for Bill."

"I'll be getting a 4.0 this semester... When a girl rates me out of 10"

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, since he's too short to be an ese."

"I don't like people call me fatty I like people call me to eat."

"Life is one long earthquake for those tiny dogs who are always shaking."