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Joke of the Day

"What is WRONG with you??? Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything"

"A Buddhist monk was on the streets of New York and he stopped at a hotdog stand. The vendor asks, ""what would you like on it?"" to which he replied,""Make me one with everything""."

"My grandfather died peacefully and in his sleep but the kids on his bus were screaming."

"Socialist jokes are the best. Everyone gets them."

"People say drugs are bad, but I'm calling complete BS on that. I've only been on meth for 20 minutes and I'm already the king of Jupiter."

"Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster."

"Do you want to know that people care whether you're alive? Try missing a couple of payments."

"Why did the Wise Man get 25 to life? Myrrhder"

"[mysterious British man rescues me] Me: How? Him: Bond [introducing himself as we leave prison], bail bond."

"Dad I spotted a Dalmatian! No need to it already has its own spots!"