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Joke of the Day

"I am exceedingly charismatic but I have trouble pronouncing words beginning with 'f' and 'th'..... ...... Can't say fairer than that."

"No one cared about Cap'n Crunch when he was a Lieut'n'nt Com'nd'r"

"How did a hipster burn his mouth? Drank his coffee before it was cool"

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef strokinoff"

"Okay so I know this one joke which might be a bit offensive. Cracked me up though What's great about fucking 22 year olds'?"

"Me: Dad, How did you guys manage without Whatsapp & Facebook? My Dad: We used to keep useless information to ourselves."

"What do you call a guy who wears two condoms? Justin Case"

"When I die I want my funeral to be closed casket but like half way thru someone opens the lid and surprise - it's a nacho bar inside"

"[A montage of me flailing because I walked into a spiders web, with larger and larger crowds, until I am at the karate championships]"

"Girl, are you wearing a diaper? Cause I wanna fuck the shit out of you."