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Joke of the Day

"I am exceedingly charismatic but I have trouble pronouncing words beginning with 'f' and 'th'..... ...... Can't say fairer than that."

"Got caught up in a really great book last night... I didn't stop coloring till 2 o'clock this morning!"

"People who smoke cigarettes die sooner, but people who smoke e-cigarettes deserve it more."

"The 3 tragedies. The 3 tragedies in a man's life: 1) Life sucks. 2) Job sucks. 3) Wife doesn't."

"The rape game... --Do you want to play the rape game? --No! --That's the spirit..."

"I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house."

"Man: I'd like an order of buffalo wings Bartender: sorry, we don't serve food here *a sandwich that just walked in flips a table and leaves*"

"Why do Asian students do so well in school? Because an Asian without A's is a sin"

"What is the difference between a teacher and a train? Teacher says ""spit out that gum!"" But a train says ""choo! Choo!"""

"Hey girl, Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face."