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Joke of the Day

"I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house."

"What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?"

"Why do ducks have webbed feet ? To stamp out forest fires !"

"You know that video game, Mario, right? Do you know what his overalls are made of? Denim denim denim"

"What do French athletes wear? Jaques straps"

"Two homeless guys see a dog licking his balls. One says to the other ""I wish I could do that"" the other says ""don't you think you should pet him first""."

"What is a misogynist? A misogynist is anyone winning an argument with a feminist."

"What happened when Jesus 'screwed' around? He got *nailed*."

"Have you heard about the new restaurant on Mars? The atmosphere was ok, but the place looked a bit rusty."

"I just wanna make a lot of money and not do very much, is that so wrong?"