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Joke of the Day

"Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening to you."

"why did the tomato cross the road? to become ketchup"

"When I got my first pube, I left it under my pillow and waited for the pube fairy. And he came. All over my pillow."

"So I was eating my grandma out yesterday... When I tongued the familiar taste of horse semen, which is when I realized how my grandma died."

"What do you call a group of retards in a sauna? Steamed vegetables."

"""Can I buy you a drink?"" ""I'd rather just have the money"""

"Was invited into a group DM called procrastinators, it's been two weeks I'm still waiting to be added.... *my kind of people"

"What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son? James Bonding bah dun tss"

"I found a bloodsucking vampire in my house today. I don't know how the lawyer got in but I had to chase him out with a broom."

"Crappiest Town In The UK I am not British because I was born in Slough :( :l :)"