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Joke of the Day

"Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why's that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"

"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul."

"My wife has just come home and asked how things went with the baby. Now in mild panic mode as I thought she took the baby along with her"

"Who takes the best selfies in LA? I need someone good to do mine."

"Have you heard the joke about the three rats? It was cheesy"

"At least once a day I say ""nice to meet you"" to someone I've already met which is a great feeling for all involved."

"I hate myself for laughing, but a joke my grandpa told me.. What do you call 5 black people having sex? A Three some."

"Cop: You doin drugs? ""No"" Cop: Whatya smokin? ""Pot"" Cop: THATS DOING DRUGS ""Ohh I thought you meant like [whispers] having sex with drugs"""

"[NSFW] Sex is like flipping a coin Either way you're getting heads or tails"

"I was interviewing a guy for a position as a dentist Turns out he wasn't very great at the job. I told him and he broke down crying. He couldn't handle the tooth"