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Joke of the Day
"Who takes the best selfies in LA? I need someone good to do mine."
Next Joke
"He sees you when you're sleeping,he knows when you're awake A date with Bill Cosby"
"What is Pat Sajak's favorite Christmas carol? No L"
"While in my car I drove beneath an overpass that was getting some work done on it I was under construction."
"Life hack: ask telemarketers and phone scammers to go steady seconds into the conversation and never be bothered again OR now you found love"
"If there isn't a Chinese millionaire called 'Cha Ching' I will be so disappointed."
"My 3-year-old referred to her granola bar as a, ""NOLA bar"" and now she's wearing Mardi Gras beads and asking me to make jambalaya."
"How do you know when you're turning 40? When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh"
"I want you to drag me to the bedroom, softly lay me down, & kiss my neck. Now go clean the house while I take a nap."
"[Dinner with GFs parents] *Does shadow puppet of a bird* ""Thats great but I asked what you do for a living?"" Um *smooths tie* I'm unemployed"