34691

Joke of the Day

"If you don't have any feelings watching a kid cry, most likely it's your kid."

"What's the difference between racism and chinese people? Racism has many faces."

"Q: Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth? A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the blonde joke list."

"What do you call a ship that drives itself? Auto-pirate."

"I am feeling very optimistic. But I bet it won't last."

"[mean joke to girls from guys] I really hope you get the hottest boyfriend So I have a chance on hot girls"

"Conductor this bus was very slow! Oh I expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!"

"I could get hit and killed by a truck right in front of him and my dentist would still find a way to blame it on the fact that I don't floss"

"[lost in Spain] Wife: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Spanish with a local]: gracias Wife: well? Me: we are in Spain"

"OWNER: The museum's ready? ME: All the artichokes are in place OWNER: Ha, you mean artifacts [I slam the door shut] ME: U cannot go in there"